Making You Happy

Many of us have the tendency to go through life hoping that the right person will come along and make us happy. We put out to the Universe that we want someone with X, Y, or Z characteristics, and then hang our hat on the thought that a perfect someone will come along and all our worries will go right out the window.

I am here to tell you that this is an impossible dream. Happiness is not something that comes from outside of you. Happiness is a state of self-fulfillment, sometimes even a conscious choice. If you are not a whole person, in and of yourself, you will not be happy regardless of the circumstances. If you are expecting someone to come along on a white horse and take you away to paradise, you need to be healed from the inside. No one has control over your emotions, your state of mind, or your self concept, but you.

Taking the bull by the horns and declaring yourself happy is one thing, but truly feeling it, truly knowing in your heart that you are okay in all aspects, takes a bold warrior. You have to be willing to allow the negative behaviour of others fall off you like water off a duck’s back. You have to be strong enough to understand that whatever people say, especially if it hurts your feelings, is not a reflection of who you are. You determine who you are, just as you determine how you feel. You have to be strong enough to allow for that.

This is not to say that you don’t or shouldn’t consider the feelings of others, if you have hurt them, and apologize when you are wrong, but it does mean that you don’t have to take insults and degrading remarks at face value, allowing others to put you on the defensive for no legitimate reason. The point is that you don’t have to act like a sponge and automatically allow the hurtful things you are told to wear you down and destroy your happiness.

When you take responsibility for your happiness, you are able to take actions to do what you want to do, without taking the same right from others. You don’t have to destroy someone’s day. You don’t have to insult others or detract from their talents. You have your own gifts. You can be proud of yourself, though you don’t have to broadcast it to make yourself feel good.

True happiness comes from within. It comes from being satisfied with what you have in life and if not, then doing something about it, recognizing and being confident in your own capabilities. And if you are not capable, asking for help, just as you have helped others when they have needs.

May you be richly blessed!