When life
sends us confusion and loss, we may go through a period of isolation, feeling
as if we are alone, even when we’re in a crowd of people. That loneliness may be due to the loss of a
loved one, a job that was central to our identity, or any change in routine
that leaves us feeling, for whatever reason, like a fish out of water. Coping with that depth of loneliness and,
disintegration of identity that comes with it, can be a tremendous challenge.
The first
step in coping requires that we give ourselves the opportunity to feel the
emotions. Really sit with the painful
consciousness that you have lost something of importance. Don’t worry about putting on a happy face for
the people around you. Indulge the
pain. Cry, scream, shout, punch a pillow
(not something hard) and let the anger with the world for taking something away
from you pour out of you. This is
something that may one time to purge, or it may take days, weeks or months. It will take less time once you acknowledge
the feelings, truly feel them, and then, let it all out.
The second
step is in knowing that life continues, that there are things you are meant to
do, which is what you did before, just a little differently. You may continue to purge some of the negative
emotions during this time, but you are probably ready to adapt to your new
circumstances. I have always been a big
fan of keeping a journal, a daily record of thoughts and feelings, plans and
goals and the progress toward reaching them.
This way, as you progress toward healing, you have a record of where
you’ve been, what you did to heal, and a road map to where you want to go.
Finally,
you will want to fill the time that exists due to your loss. If it was a job, then, certainly, you will want
to get a new job. If it was a loved one,
he or she cannot be replaced, but you can make plans to socialize with friends,
perhaps others in the same circumstances.
Taking the opportunity to widen your circle of friends and the interests
that you have will help you heal and bless your life in ways that are
worthwhile and wonderful.
May you be
richly blessed.
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