Questioning Ourselves

How many times do we come to a decision about something major in our lives, only to find our hearts fluttering a little faster, sweat forming on our foreheads, and our minds running so fast we can hardly keep up with them?  Why do we question decisions we have made?  Do we feel we need to take a poll among our friends to see if they agree that we are doing the right thing?

When we believe that we are incapable of making the right choice for ourselves, we undermine our confidence, and we become less of a person.  Some of this behaviour comes from the way we were taught, that someone in our lives took the choices we made and vetoed them, or substituted something for what we wanted.  We learned that we did not make good decisions, that what we wanted didn’t matter, and this shook our resolve, caved in our confidence, and put an end to our motivation.  After all, what point would there be to working on any given project if it was the wrong choice to begin with?

How do we heal from this kind of upbringing?  It is important to start small.  Try doing something that can be accomplished within a day.  Or perhaps something that takes even less time, like a crossword puzzle or other stimulating game.  When you have successfully completed the project, give yourself a reward.  Slowly work up to bigger and bigger things.  But make sure to aim at things that you know you can accomplish unassisted.  Allow yourself to feel the increase in your confidence as you succeed.  Reward yourself with things you have really wanted over time.

Eventually, you may want to work up to something competitive in nature, something that takes a greater amount of preparation.  That is all right, but recognize that, at this point, you are competing against yourself, to improve your personal best.  You can accomplish great things when your motivation is self-improvement.  These kinds of activities will increase your confidence, be self-motivating, and offer you a firm basis for personal growth.

May you be richly blessed!