Life Transitions

We all know that life eventually comes to an end.  Facing the final moments takes courage, not only for the one who is moving on into the afterlife, but even more so, perhaps, for those who are left behind.  How will the empty hours, previously filled by the one who has moved on, be spent?  Who will we share our deepest thoughts and secret feelings with now?  There are many questions, beyond the loss, that will need to be considered and answered for life to move forward. 

I recently lost my stepfather, affectionately called, Pa, after 22 years as my mother’s great love.  His calm acceptance of his passing, and the brevity of the final moment, reflected his deep, spiritual understanding of the passage into new life.  While we did not share some perspectives and beliefs, we came to respect each other’s points of view and this provided a bond between us that allowed love to grow.  We used to talk about world events and from our differing perspectives, were able to give comfort where otherwise there was fear.  This, then, is the true meaning of transition:  to move away from fear and move forward, comfortably and confidently.

Any kind of transition in our lives, whether it is the loss of someone or something: a habit, a practice, a residence, a phase of life such as ongoing study, a relationship, etc., asks the same thing of us, that we appreciate what has gone before, and comfortably and confidently step into the future.  It requires that we adapt to the new way of life by setting new patterns of energy.  It asks that we learn to rely on those around us not only for comfort as we mourn the loss of the past, but to smooth the way into a new lifestyle.  Allowing others in, accepting their presence and their love, helps heal us, helps us to become courageous in exploring what life is going to be like over time.

Time.  Healing does take time. Adapting does take time.  One should never judge oneself for not getting with the program, as it were, quickly enough.  Being accepting of the journey, the process of the transition, however long it may take, acknowledging the feelings that one experiences during the process, is important to the healing, important to the arrival of the new stage of life.  The process and the period of time that process takes is different for each person.

The key is to allow the experience to come, allow others in to help smooth the way for the transition, and not feel that you have to force any part of what comes to suit others.  This is the way to move comfortably and confidently into a joyous future.

May you be richly blessed.